madelaine standing

A couple weeks ago I found myself in a most strange mood. I dialed up the person who I’ve known as one of my best women friends in Vancouver, Canada, up to date. Upon trying to verbalize how I was feeling, the words that arrived were,

“I feel like my life’s going to end.”

This woman friend of mine of Asian heritage - a culture who I find not to be showy about expressing deep down feelings - sat silently on the other end of the line. I respect that trait, as it shows an ability to maintain greater self-control than in a circumstance where emotion rules all. Of course this is a sweeping statement that could or could not get me in trouble with my Asian friends who I love dearly. Besides, we human beings made up borders and countries - they wouldn’t exist otherwise. Asians, Americans, Italians — it’s all a state of mind, and those who have traveled outside of their own borders are likely to have a bit of each in them. (beautifully enough)

So, with due reason, my friend had no idea what to say, so I went on trying to fill in the holes of this statement’s much-needed supporting backstory. To be ongoingly honest, I have no idea what I even said though I am aware the details were trivialties - as time knows best.

The details presented were ones we human beings tend to find ourselves wound up in, on an off day, when common sense has taken a vacation.

Whereas I eat 80% healthy food, 20% junk as a general rule of thumb, 9 out of 10 days I am grateful to say life is ‘cherry blossom pink,’ ‘ocean rolling smooth,’ ‘strawberry-pickin’ good…’  And, when it is not, I’ve just learned it means time for solo reflection.  …Time to recharge the battery so the mind is in synch with all the good in the world, and centered in the beauty of the reason why we were each placed here on this earth.

In a very real sense, my life is ending, as I’ve always known it, that is.

Now, when I look off into the distance, my horizons are being stretched allowing yet more possibilities to exist within it. Largely because of the collective thoughts streaming through my mind over the last few years.

And, the ground is rising up to meet me - thanks to the foundation I have laid down to support my deepest dreams and desires over the last few years. But, as we all know, when big change is upon us the mind can attempt to play tricks…

I’m sure Mr Eckhart Tolle would tell us it was a chunk of ego that was pushing me toward fear’s frightening edge, and creating the questioning of the changes that are to come.

But, thanks to a good rest on the North Shore in the Vancouver mountains the last couple weekends I feel more in alignment with the quote I read and instantaneously memorized for life, within Julia Cameron’s “The Artist’s Way,” as I had vacationed in my sister’s San Diego beach home back in 2003;

“Jump and the net will appear.”

As a fiercely social person, yet an introvert since birth, I have learned to be thankful for my quiet, rejuvenative time. (Now, if only I can always remember to take a few moments of it, regardless of where I am! - I do hold the faith.)

//

Madelaine Standing

Adventures In Ink

Adventure Fiction for 15 and up.

Learn about HEAVEN IN THE MEAT PACKING DISTRICT today.

Art is the greatest vehicle to tell the truth.

that’s the thought I had when I saw this photo with the caption written by filmmaker Kevin Kunze, “Better run faster than my bullet.”

Keep an eye out for this documentary, as well as my book, HEAVEN IN THE MEAT PACKING DISTRICT, on similiar grounds of Kevin’s documentary: an exploration of the leading faces of technology. Think Virgin mobile. Think Apple computers…speaking up.

This is in honor of Hillary Clinton who was chastised by media for not wearing make-up 24/7 just last week: I pose an opportunity to the women - “brave it” and post a picture of yourself make-up free as opposition to such ignorance. To the women of the world, our new mantra, “I defy such sexism.” We as women are entitled to do and say as we please and are every bit as desirable, valuable and actively honoring our true beauty - regardless
of how much guck we have on our lashes.
We are more than make-up queens and silky leg feigns. We are women of worth 365 days a week!!!

Turns out I am more of an actress than I before knew - either that, or the Yoga (as usual) is working wonders.  The person who read before me at SFU’s Writer’s Studios eve held inside the United Kingdom Building had my heart beating. They were very enthusiastic with their reading, feet stomping to the point I thought the glasses on the tables would start to shake, in response.  Anyway, the first time reading some of my work to the public, with a microphone, in the downtown core was exceptional. I had asked my closest girlfriends not to go, as I wanted to feel that this evening was about what I believed it to be about: my career. 

So, it felt good to treat the evening as such. Thankfully, my writing buddy, Matea was there.

Where I had thought I was to read a part of my novel completed - or an excerpt from the novel-in-the-works, I actually wound up reading something I wrote three hours before showing up to the cafe.  I spent all this last week re-reading both aforementioned texts, prepping them to share so that they were in connection to the theme laid out by the directors of The Writer’s Studio - Vagabonds and/or Vancouver. Then, I realized I wanted to go for something lighter on a Friday night. So I did.

Here is what I wrote & read for the downtown cafe gathering last night after having a wonderful black rice sushi lunch with a student from the west end community center:

____________________________________________________________________

“Vancouver Vagabond”

(why not merge the two topics!)

___________________________________

I found the vagabond within you again,

Vancouver.

When I first set eyes on you, back in ‘03 you made

me one.

Yet, you were the one to tremble as I took off, situated up above, somewhere between the two wide wings of the aircraft.

I remember not, where I sat.

For your mystique and fog had my eyes glassy with surrender.

Tell me about the rain, I wouldn’t have heard.

My inner ear was opening. The resonation of the oohs & aahs of the trip below still running through me.

Now, tell me about the men in genitalia-hugging, neon spandex - out for their daily seawall jogs - and I would’ve woken right up! Snapped right out of it.

But, every place has its special nuances…

Best not to stare too long, and carry on.

-

“I’m moving here.” The words erupted from my center, with no history attached, yet with great meaning and conviction.

“What made you move here?” People characteristically ask, in friendly-Canadian fashion.

“I arrived to the airport. To leave. Took a look around, and knew I had to stay.”

That was at 18 - or maybe 19 - my memory’s falling behind.

Too much roaming.

Though when the calling has come, I tried to do so with purpose. To remember where I’ve come from:

‘Sometimes the ‘Virginia slide’ sneaks in.’

Three years charge by, bringing me to 22.

-

Hello New World!

This time, Vancouver put the Vagabond in me.

“Forget California and its uncompromising, yet spirited, bursts of sun rays…

Leave Florida, and the salt water pool behind.

Leave sweet Virginia, Brazil and its cyclical contrast: Cold-Iced Mojitos, Hot-Blazing Sun. Cold-Iced Mojitos, Hot Blazing Sun.”

-

…The change that takes place as you travel from sea-to-sea,

from airway streams landing

down to trodden earth…

-

“6 years now.”

“Wow, you’ve lived here for quite a while; you’re just as much Canadian, as anything else, then.” The tall, gentle, man says as we look out at the horizon, bare feet on smooth stones, set back in the seascape of Lighthouse Park.

“It feels like it…” I reply, though something in me resists securing that statement with words of proven absolutes.

Does sitting in one place change me?

Is the rain really capable of such things that one need warn another of?

My curiosity lingers.

-

I take a walk, before reading at the United Kingdom building where TAKE 5 cafe is located.

Horses who have unknowingly joined the police force click clunk by.

I hear languages I have yet to know

and hearts I have yet to touch.

When I just open, I feel so much.

Under your caribbean blue sky,

today,

I found the Vagabond within you, again,

Vancouver.

//

All rights reserved. 2012. If re-printing/re-posting, include Author’s name. Madelaine Standing.

___________________________________________________________________

// Response from people was that they were surprised it was my first time ever reading. That it was natural. That it was lyrical prose. That I could have read longer…want to?

//

Wonderful to know

expose-the-light:

Top 10 Biggest Brain Damaging Habits

1. No Breakfast

People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar level.This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain degeneration.

2. Overreacting

It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in mental power.

3. Smoking

It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease.

4. High Sugar consumption

Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development.       

5. Air Pollution

The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body. Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency.

6. Sleep Deprivation

Sleep allows our brain to rest. Long term deprivation from sleep will accelerate the death of brain

7. Head covered while sleeping

Sleeping with the head covered, increases the concentration of carbon dioxide and decrease concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain damaging effects.

8. Working your brain during illness

Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease in effectiveness of the brain as well as damage the brain.            

9. Talking Rarely

Intellectual conversations will promote the efficiency of the brain.

10. Lacking in stimulating thoughts

Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking in brain stimulation thoughts may cause brain shrinkage.

(via discoverynews)